When Your Friend Gets Really Competitive

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This can be tough. Whether you win an award, or get a better grade, or just in general do better in life, your friend gets not only jealous but competitive. People might tell you to talk to the friend, ask her to loosen up. The truth is, changing the friend’s mindset is not only hard, it’s wrong. You don’t want to soften your friend’s sharp competitive edge, because ambition, no matter how strong, isn’t bad. It’s good. Maybe you want to take away your friend’s competitive edge to harm her, because what has she ever done to benefit you? But I urge you not to, and here’s why.

  1. Competition can be a good thing. Even if you don’t end up on top, you will end up improving astronomically if you have competition, which is the point, isn’t it?
  2. Any friend who doesn’t want what’s best for you isn’t a real friend, and it can be dangerous to consider them a friend. So really think hard about whether or not you should consider them a friend. (But make sure you think really, really, really hard, don’t just assume they don’t want what’s best for you, that’s how you lose friends)
    1. 2a: Don’t treat them differently. Treat them as a friend, but know that they can back-stab you at any point.
  3. Make sure to not give them updates on your success. That will just infuriate them even more and cause them to push harder. If you really want something, keep your small steps a secret until reach your end goal. Then you can yell it on rooftops :-).
  4. Likewise, make sure you receive updates on their success. This is easier if they are the kind of people that like to keep the attention on themselves (no hate, just truth ;-))

On the other end, make sure you are being a good friend. It’s understandable if you and your friend are going for the same prize, then you shouldn’t back down. But if your friend gets a basketball scholarship and you don’t play basketball, feeling jealous or mad is an indicator you need to work on your mindset.

Just be happy, and be the best you can be! That’s what’s important. XOXO love you all!



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